One of the questions women ask me most often is how to choose a destination for their first solo trip. On the surface, it sounds straightforward, yet for many women it becomes the place where things stalls The world feels big, the options endless, and the idea of choosing “wrong” can feel heavier than you expect. Especially if you have spent years or even decades thinking about everyone else’s needs before your own.
What I have learned is that most women do not hesitate because they lack information. They pause because choosing a destination requires you to practice something you were not raised to do. It asks you to notice what you want, trust that desire, and let it matter. That alone can stir up discomfort, excitement, and uncertainty all at once. And this is exactly where the real transformation begins.
Listen to Episode 4
Choosing a destination is really about choosing yourself
Women often think they are struggling to pick a place because the decision feels too big or because they might choose wrong. Underneath that worry is something deeper. Many of us were raised to make safe choices, responsible choices, choices that keep everyone comfortable. When the decision finally centers you, it can bring up old questions. Is this too indulgent? What if I regret it? Will people think it is strange that I am going alone?
None of these questions are about travel. They are about permission. They are about the quiet fear of misjudgment that lives underneath so many of our adult decisions. Choosing a destination is one of the first places where you practice letting your desires guide you again. It is not about perfection. It is about clarity.
A few moments from my own life that shaped how I choose
There have been many times in my life when I had to choose a place from a mix of desire, readiness, and reality. When I moved to Japan, for example, I knew I needed a bit of structure because I could not read the signs and did not speak the language. I bought a used car and a GPS so I could always find my way home. It was not fear that guided me. It was honesty about what I needed to feel supported.
London has always been different for me. Even though I often get physically lost, I never feel lost there. I can read things. The infrastructure makes sense to me. My brain feels at ease. The city aligns with who I am and how I move through the world. That ease became part of my decision-making without me even trying.
The Philippines was something else entirely. When I was twenty-eight, I went because I wanted to see the rice terraces of Banaue with my own eyes. I chose that trip for myself, without running it through anyone else’s preferences. The decision came from desire more than logic. And even though that trip was filled with delays, detours, and moments that pushed me, it taught me that I was capable of handling whatever came up.
Each destination offered a different lesson, but together they showed me the same truth. The best place to go is the one that matches your desire, your readiness, and your reality.
A different way to think about choosing your destination
There is a simple framework I teach inside the Skool community that helps women shift out of overthinking and into grounded action. I give a small preview of it in the episode, because even thinking about these questions begins to open something inside many women. I hope that you feel less pressure to get it right and more room to explore what feels true.
Most women discover that once they start noticing what they actually want, rather than what they think they should choose, the decision becomes easier. They begin to imagine themselves walking through a new place on their own terms. And that is often the moment they realize, I am really doing this.
You might be closer to clarity than you think
If you take a moment right now and ask yourself what type of experience you are craving, something will surface. Maybe you want warmth and stillness. Maybe you want a city filled with energy. Maybe nature feels grounding, or culture feels inspiring. Whatever comes up, notice it without shutting it down or explaining it away.
This is how clarity grows. Not through research, but through listening.
Join the community
And if you want a place to explore this shift with other women who are feeling the same pull toward freedom, you’re welcome in my Skool community. It’s a warm space for support, clarity, and steady momentum as you take your first steps into becoming the woman who travels.